Life in 3 — The One About Flunking Geometry

J Dana Stahl
3 min readJun 3, 2022

3 Totally (Not) Legit Reasons My Kid Flunked Geometry

Please note these are NOT legitimate reasons for failing geometry (or any class), so this is me throwing the bullshit flag on my teenager. Yeah, I know, my kid is 15 and like totally cool, but here’s the thing:

Ain’t no trick he’s tryin’ to pull that I ain’t tried before.

(That’s me, Mom Dude, with my best gangster line. It’s usually good for an eye roll or two.)

Geometry tools with flunking red pen f grade.

In other words, been there, done that. Know what’s worse than the boat my kid’s in? My mom was a teacher in the small high school where I attended. Most of the time, she knew how I did on tests before I did. Now, that’s rough.

Apparently (and unbeknownst to me), my kid had it very rough in geometry this school year. You’ll probably be shocked to read about the 3 things his teacher did that MADE him flunk the first semester…resulting in his current attendance at summer school.

Shocking classroom incidents that led to my son getting BELOW a 50% for the first semester include:

  1. The teacher graded all the final packets — except for his. Of course he turned it in, he assured me. And he absolutely completed the entire packet. He had ZERO idea why the teacher might overlook his packet. Hmmmm…is there any way it could be somewhere in that giant ball of papers at the bottom of his backpack? #Sus #ISmellARat
  2. The teacher won’t put anything in the grade book. But she puts a zero when it’s not graded, so it just shows up as zero points, which is why his grade looks so low…but it really isn’t…it’s just that darned lazy teacher. I have questions. Soooo the teacher is too lazy to enter grades, however she is ambitious enough to give each missing grade a zero so that your grade gradually ticks downward? Yep, totally. #ItsGettingDeep
  3. The teacher hasn’t given any extra credit yet. First of all, I do appreciate the ballsy move of putting the onus of improving your grade on the teacher. Well played, but in the event she doesn’t grace you with the opportunity to redeem yourself, you’ll need…
J Dana Stahl

I’m a dreamer who believes there might just be a smidgeon of good left in this world. I believe in being nice, playing fair, and tacos...lots of tacos.